Friday, October 23, 2020

Until . . .

Gracious Heavenly Father,
You want nothing more 
than for Your children 
to walk in truth.

So often, though, 
we feel as though 
we are in a game 
of hide-n-seek with You. 

We feel as though 
we somehow 
have to make our way 
through a maze of 
"this way" or "that way" 
in order to find 
our way to You. 

We wonder why 
knowing Your will 
and finding Your way 
is so hard to do. 

And yet, the truth is this:

You are not hiding; 
we are not truly seeking.

You are not silent; 
we are not truly listening.

You are not ducking and dodging 
in an effort to stay 
one step out of touch with us;
we are not zeroing in and focusing 
totally and completely 
on You.

The problem is not with You, Father God.
(Never has been. Never will be.)

The problem is with us.

We allow everything and everyone 
to overshadow and drown out 
what You are doing, 
what You are saying, 
what You are guiding us to 
or leading us through.

We remember Peter, Lord. 
How, walking on the water, 
You held out your hand 
and invited Peter 
to walk to You 
and with You. 

Stepping out of the boat, 
eyes, ears, and faith 
all completely on You, Jesus, 
it was easy for him 
to know what to do, 
where to step, 
which direction to go. 

And do, step, and go, he did. 

Right on top of the water, 
right straight to You, 

Oh, Father God, 
this is the word 
(and the moment!) 
that always causes us 
to stumble, 
to fall, 
to doubt, 
to become fearful and confused. 

We hear Your calling, 
we sense Your leading, 
we know what You are 
calling us to 
and we are willing 
to do, step, and go 


until we are reminded about this,
until we start to realize that,
until we listen to them,
until we forget about,
until we TAKE. OUR. EYES. OFF. OF. YOU.

Help us, Father God 
in our "until" moments.

Help us to keep 
seeking You 
with all our heart.

Help us to keep 
listening for Your
still small voice.

Help us to keep 
removing all that blocks 
our view of You.

Help us to keep 
stepping out,
placing one foot of our faith 
in front of the other 
we reach You, Lord.

Oh, Father God, 
You want nothing more 
than for Your children 
to walk in truth.

You will be faithful 
to lead us,
if only, 
we will be faithful 
to follow.

Thank you, Father God.

In Jesus' precious name, we pray. Amen. 

~ Stacy

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

What's So Ordinary About That?~


So many times
we let this word
define our day.

When the alarm goes off,
we moan as we head into
"just another ordinary day".

As we 
eat breakfast,
maneuver through traffic,
answer emails,
fold laundry,
sit in a waiting room,
pick up the kids from school,
we find ourselves
going through the motions,
doing the next thing on our list,
without ever stopping 
to realize:
each of these moments
are anything but ordinary.

Each moment
is a moment in time
any other moment in time.

Each moment,
only a moment,
for that very moment.

Each moment
gone the moment
another moment begins.

Each moment,

Each moment,
a gift.

As I sat in a waiting room
at a doctor's office one day,
I thought about all the
"ordinary" things
I take for granted.

A man in a wheelchair
reminded me how 
walking is.

A lady on oxygen
reminded me how
breathing is.

If you stop 
and think about it,
which is exactly 
what I did that day,
you can't help 
but come to the conclusion
that every single moment
of life
is. a. miracle.

Every single moment
of life
is. an. extraordinary. gift.

Every "ordinary" part 
of our day
is anything-but-ordinary,
only we don't take the time
to stop and notice
what we've been given,
what we're able to do,
what our God has granted us
at that very moment in time.

To be a 
human being
is anything but ordinary.

We are fearfully 
and wonderfully made
and each and every moment
of our life,
graciously and miraculously
given to us.

May we live 
each moment
in awe and appreciation
of both.

~ Stacy

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Stand Your Ground~

most times, in fact,
when you are in
the midst of a storm,
and all is breaking
loose around you,
you feel the overwhelming need
to run away,
to escape,
to withdraw,
to retreat,
to strike out,
to fight back,
to force your way through,
to launch out in a
completely new direction.

most times, in fact,
neither of these responses
are best.

most times, in fact,
the best thing
you can do is this:
stand your ground.

Don't allow the pressure
to push you backwards,
and certainly
don't allow the pressure
to push your forward
into decisions
you have no business making
during a time
of emotional stress
and uncertainty.

Stand your ground.

Dig you feet
into the promises
found in God's Word.

Hold fast to the truth
that God is with you
and God will fight
your battle for you.

Believe that 
God is at work,
God is in control,
God is working it
(all. of. it.)
for good.

Pray for the courage 
to not be swayed.

Pray for the strength
to endure the storm.

Pray for the peace
to hear God's still small voice
above all else.

Pray for the 
presence of God to 
uphold you,
sustain you,
support you, 
and surround you.

Stand in the power
of your God,
and let Him work.

Know and believe that
not sometimes,
not most times,
but ALL TIMES, in fact,
your God is faithful.


Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Sowing in Tears~

In the moments
right before the 
Celebration of Life ceremony
for my husband 
four years ago now,
we gathered at 
the front of the church -
the two pastors 
officiating the service
and me,
and we prayed.

We joined our hearts
and our hands together
in a bond of three, 
and we prayed - 
every single person
in attendance that day
would someday
(if not that day,
and if not already)
come to a 
saving knowledge of Jesus
and enjoy a personal
walk with God.

Nothing would have made
my precious man happier.

We claimed the promise
that God's Word
does not return void,
that it accomplishes
the very purposes of God.

I know 
without a doubt
Heaven will one day
reveal God's faithfulness.

The last few days,
as I am knee-deep
in packing and 
the emptying out of our home
for my upcoming move,
I have been praying
a similar prayer.

As I have been
loading the car
with all of my man's clothes -
(I can still see him in 
every shirt,
every suit coat,
every t-shirt,
every pair of sweats,
every piece of cameo,
every single pair of jeans,)
all of his personal belongings,
as well as so many items
from our life together,
I have been praying
once again, 
and believing anew.

This time my prayer
is for the one
who receives.

For the one 
who might become
the new one 
sporting his sport coat,
relaxing in his t-shirt,
feeling the warmth of a fire from a tree he cut,
poking a log with our fire poker,
enjoying a meal on our tableware,
circling around our artificial Christmas tree,
listening to music on our stereo,
reading by the light of a favorite lamp,
hearing God's Spirit through the pages of a Bible.

I am praying,
that they, too, -
every single person
who is gifted an item
or purchases it from the thrift store -
will someday
(if not that day,
and if not already)
come to a 
saving knowledge of Jesus
and enjoy a personal
walk with God.

And since my man
loooooooooooooooved clothes,
(so much so
I had to make two trips 
just for those),
and since together
we lived a whole lot 
of life together here,
(What a trip that has been!
Thank you my Abba Father!),
among the tears,
I have also felt
a smile of anticipation,
a smile of joy
as I think about
just what our God 
will do 
as I pray
for His very presence
to be known
in the lives
of whoever 
receives each item.

When you have been
entrusted with the honor
of saying goodbye
to your love,
to his personal belongings,
to a life shared together,
it's no light matter.

Knowing and believing
that in all things,
if you entrust
it all to God -
He can and will
make it count
for His Kingdom
you can release it all -
praising God in advance
for the harvest
that is sure to come.

~ Stacy

Friday, October 9, 2020

When You Know You Are Held~

Raw, transparent, and vulnerable -
do you suppose any of us
like to find our character
clothed only in authenticity?

This girl certainly doesn't,
and yet,
I know that I know that I know
it is this that God has called me to -
in my relationships,
in my walk with Him,
and in this space,
where words reveal to you
a whole lot more than I wish they would.

if a revelation of this
sinful, messy, real, authentic heart
is what God can use for you to
better see His heart authentically,
then raw, transparent and vulnerable it is.

Which brings me to today's post
and this admission:

Lately I've been feeling
more apart
(a million broken pieces
scattered everywhere
and in every direction)
than I've been feeling together.

Can you relate?

A little of me here,
a little of me there.
A little attention to this,
a little attention to that.
A little working on this,
a little working on that.

And naturally,
it only stands to reason,
if you don't have it 
all together,
it makes you feel
like you're falling apart, right?

And yet,
God has been showing me,
feeling and being
are two totally different realities.

Life has a way
of pulling us
in a million different directions -
dead ends.

And yet,
if we are rooted and grounded
in Christ,
we may 
give in to this tug or
give way to that push,
but we are held together
in and through Him.

We may feel like
we are just a 
jumbled up,
disconnected mess -
but the one who
holds the moon
and holds back the waves
is holding us.

And His hold on us,
holds us together.

Never let a feeling
convince you
you are something
you are not.

Never let a feeling
talk you out of a truth.

The world can
pull and tug 
all it wants,
(and it will)
but the hold our God
has on us
keeps us together in Him
even in the midst
of the most broken of places.

Our coming undone,
our falling apart,
our not having it all together -
this is simply part of being human:
a human desperately in need of a God
who holds us in the palm of His hand.

Feeling anything but together lately?
Me, too.
Praise God, it's only a feeling.
We've got this,
because we've got God.

And most importantly,
God has us,
and He's never letting go.

For in Him 
we live and move
and have our being.
~Acts 17:28

~ Stacy

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

A Necessary Hurt~

"Which hurt worse?" I asked.

It was a question I asked
each and every time
my husband told of the time,
when as a small child
playing baseball in the field
right across from his home,
he had fallen and broken his arm.

no one knew it was broken.

Knowing if others knew
his days of playing ball on the field
might come to an abrupt halt,
he hid his hurt.
And since it was a fracture
and not a clean break,
he was able to hide his hurt
for quite awhile.

the hurt kept hurting.

the pain wouldn't let up.

the hiding and the not telling
and the fear of not playing
made it so the playing
wasn't any fun anymore.

When his parents
finally found out
and he found himself
face to face with a doctor,
he heard these words,
that to his ears,
seemed unbelievable.

"Your son has a fracture.
However, since this wasn't 
dealt with in a timely matter,
his arm has tried to heal itself, 
but not properly.
We are going to have to
re-break his arm
and set it in a cast."

And this is where
my question always 
interrupted his story.

"Which hurt worse? 
The first break or the re-break?"

His answer -
always the same.
"Both - but in different ways."

My husband passed away
four years ago.
And when he did,
might heart broke wide open.
Not a fracture, a complete break.

And unlike my husband
when as a child 
he hid his fracture,
when my heart broke,
everyone knew.

And try as I might,
I tried my very hardest
to deal with it head on.

To not push it under the rug,
to not pretend it wasn't there,
to not NOT deal with it.

Holding onto to God
with all my might,
I jumped right in to
the messiness of it all,
the sorrow of it all,
the not-one-thing-normal of it all,
in an effort to get to the other side.

And yet,
it is more than obvious to me now,
as I prepare to sell my home 
and move to a brand new city
in a brand new state,
after living twenty years in my home,
and thirty years in this quaint town,
without my husband -
I am experiencing a re-breaking of my heart.

As I empty closets 
of my husband's clothes -
shirts, that with just one glance,
can bring life to a faded memory,
my heart is breaking wide open 
all over again.

As I decide 
what to do with this
and what to do with that,
the realization of his death
feels in so many ways
brand new again.

And I find myself 
wrestling with myself
to answer my own question:
"Which hurt worse?
The first break or the re-break?"

And the only answer that fits
is that of my husband:
Both - but in different ways.

This - I am discovering -
 is simply the nature of grief.

As long as I'm alive,
as long as God graciously gives
breath to my lungs,
and a beat to my heart,
are going to happen.

Like my husband,
before admitting his break,
I think the sting of grief 
can always be felt in 
some degree and in some fashion:
A scent here.
A comment there.
A song overheard.
A thought re-thought.
It doesn't take much
to stir up grief,
to bring tears,
to stop you in your tracks.

But, a re-break -
this is like starting all over.

As tears roll endlessly down my cheeks,
I hear the Great Physician,
my Abba Father say words 
that seem almost unbelievable:

"I want this heart to heal
perfectly and completely
and in order for that to happen,
we are going to have to 
re-break it.
It's not that you didn't try
to heal it properly the first time,
it's just that in order 
for the healing to be complete,
we have to heal this hurt
at every single level."

The words are hard to hear,
the pain harder yet to feel.
And yet,
four years into this journey,
with my precious Jesus by my side,
I know I can trust my God
to do what is best.

my heart has been 
broken wide open again.

But praise God,
I have no doubt,
I will only find my God
in this pain,
and closer to me
than ever before.

Healing is happening.
One break at a time.
One tear at a time.
One prayer at a time.
One step forward at a time.
One turning it over to God -
over and over and over again.

"Oh the pain.
But you know what, Beautiful?
Once it was finally healed,
I was back on that field,
playing my heart out,
better than before."

This is God's ultimate plan:

I have come that you might have life
and life more abundant.
~John 10:10

Lord, give us courage
in the times of re-breaking.
Remind me over and over,
it's all part of the plan 
to get us back in the game of life,
better than ever before.

~ Stacy