Wednesday, June 27, 2018

When Almost Was More Than Enough~

It was 4:50 pm.

Trying to wrap up everything on my to-do list before heading home from my office,
I was busily working away when my phone rang.

"Hi, Beautiful. Do you think you'll be able to get away right at 5 tonight, or will you need to stay late?"

"Hi, Handsome. No, I should be able to leave here in about 10 minutes."

"Instead of running errands, do you think you could just come straight home?"

"Sure. Is everything ok?"

"I think I might need to go somewhere for some help. I'm not feeling quite right."

"I'm on my way. Don't worry.  I'm coming right now."

I grab my keys and purse, and as I head out the door, I mention to a co-worker my husband needs me and I have to go. NOW.

Buckling my seat belt and starting my car, I phone my husband.

I talk with him all the short 6-8 minute drive home, assuring him with each turn and each intersection passed I am almost there.

"I'm going to call an ambulance," he finally says. "That way I will be able to get in to see a doctor sooner once we're at the hospital."

"Ok, Handsome.  Hold on, I'm coming.  I'm almost there. I'm almost there, Handsome. Love you."

And with that, our conversation ends.

Traffic begins blurring with panic and erupts in heart cries to my God.

"Oh, Lord. Be with my husband. Help him, Father God.  I'm almost home.  I'm almost there, Lord.  Help him.  Help me be able to help him once I get there.  Oh, Father God, I'm almost there."

A half a minute or so later, I pull into the drive.
It's 4:58 pm.
I race to the front door and into our home.

"Honey, I'm here. It's ok, now. I'm here."

My ears and my heart met with only a deafening silence.

"Honey!!  I'm here!!"

I turn the corner of our hallway and see his legs and feet (and his phone), lying motionless.
And, I see him there, lying in the bathroom, and I know.

I was too late.







Only,
looking at the radiantly peaceful look on my man's face,
feeling surrounded by the gentle hush of angels,
experiencing as never before the peace that can only be the presence of God,
I know in the deepest place of my heart,
God is here,
in our bathroom,
in our home,
in this moment,
in this timing.

I was almost there,
but God,
God is here.

Here with His kindness and His mercy.
Here with His "in an instant" blessing.
Here with His arms open wide.
Here with my husband then,
here with me, now.

And all I can do,
as I hold his hands tight,
rest my head on his chest,
and cry until I feel as though my own heart will give out,
is thank my God.

It is God who blessed me with this man
25 years ago when we first met.

It is God who blessed me with the gift of being his wife almost 16 years ago.
(We had dated 10 years before saying I do because he had to be sure he was sure!)

It is God who blessed me to be the one to live alongside this man as he lived out the day to day
living of his extraordinary life.

It is God who blessed me with his last words, and almost his last moment.

And, it is God who was with my husband at his last breath.

When I was almost there,
God was there,
more than I could have ever hoped or imagined,
more than I could have ever wanted for my husband.

When I was almost there,
less than half a minute away,
God was there,
and it was more than obvious
God was (and always will be) more than enough.





This was my unexpected moment -
February 4, 2016.

Retelling it again because so many of you are new here
and because
even now,
two years, and almost 5 months later -
God is here
and He is more than enough.

Great is His faithfulness.


2 comments:

  1. I found your beautiful site today & will come back often. I posted one of your pictures at my "Ultimate Advent" on Facebook. Hopefully I gave the credit appropriately. I couldn't find the exact devotion that you had for that picture, so I just referenced your site in general: https://www.facebook.com/UltimateAdventReturn/photos/rpp.578171992284679/1455770527858150/?type=3&theater

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  2. I had discovered your blog just a little while before this happened. When I read this back in 2016 I was shocked. I was like “WHAT”?!?! This is awful. I remember reading it twice. My heart still breaks for you for losing your Handsome Honey way too soon!!! He is part of the great cloud of witnesses. I love your writings. God is the God of All comfort - I was googling that recently and reading different scriptures. I am also reading the book “Captivating” unveiling the mystery of a woman’s soul by John & Stasi Eldridge. I really like them and it is a very good book on women. God will see you through. We can’t lean on our own understanding- but have to lean on the Lord.

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Thank you for leaving a "heartprint" of your own.