Monday, July 10, 2017

An Open Letter to A Grieving Mom

Oh, precious one -
You have been on my heart
and in my prayers non-stop.
These words - simply an expression of my heart.

When a child loses a parent,
the new "title" given is orphan.
When a husband loses his wife
or a wife loses her husband,

And yet,
when a parent loses a child,
the loss is so indescribable
there is no word in the human language
associated with this unthinkable loss.

And loss - no matter how it comes - is something
no one truly understands or
truly knows how to react or respond to.

It changes everything - forever.
It changes you - forever.

People on the outside of your heart
looking in,
see your hurt.
No doubt,
they feel your pain.

Many are grieving with you,
shedding tears of their own.

But the thing is this:
no matter how much they long
to comfort you,
to ease your pain,
to shield you from this excruciating,
almost unbearable heartache -
they can't.

Because you see,
no one but you,
knows the true extent of your loss.

Only your heart knows
the love you had for your precious child.

Only your heart knows
the fullness their life brought
and the complete emptiness their absence brings.

Only your heart knows
the little things shared
between their heart and yours.

Only your heart knows
all your hopes and dreams
for days that were yet to come
and the bitter sting of unfulfilled moments
and never to be made memories.

Only you and you alone.

As hard as it is to admit this to be true -
there is not one other person
on this planet who understands
what you are going through,
what you are feeling,
what you are thinking,
what you are experiencing,
because no one knows you
and no one knows the child you are grieving
like you do.

No one.

No one, except God, that is.

Without you trying to finds words,
He knows.

Without you trying to express
what can never truly be expressed,
He knows.

Without you even knowing how
to help Him know,
He knows.

And, He's faithfully present 24-7,
all day,
all night,

He listens.
He understands.
He comforts.
He gently holds.

And in moments of anger and
 "why, Lord, why",
He draws especially close.
And I imagine in these moments -
the hard moments when your heart
longs to understand,
it is then,
most of all,
He sheds tears with you,
just like He wept with Mary and Martha
when they lost their brother, Lazarus.

And, I have a feeling,
because He is the only one
who truly understands,
He grieves more than anyone,-
maybe even more than you and I do.

Oh sweet heart,
you have already lost
the most precious one to you
this side of Heaven.

 Don't lose The One most precious, too.

Hold on to God
with everything you have,
and all that you don't.

Having God in your life
isn't going to change your situation,
isn't going to take away
the pain, heartache, and emptiness,
isn't going to replace what you have lost,
isn't going to make your feel suddenly better.

Having God in your life
is going to change
your ability to cope,
your desire to get out of bed in the morning,
your resolve to keep breathing and living,
your willingness to give up the need to understand,
(which will only hold you prisoner until you do)
your ability to let go of guilt and regret,
(which will only hold you prisoner until you do)
your steps moving forward from here.

Having God in your life is going to change you.

When no one else can,
not even you,
God can.

When no one else will,
not even you,
God will.

When no one else - period,
not even you,

He is your only hope.

And yet,
when you have your hope in Him,
you will find,
you have all that you need.

I love you and I am on my knees for you.

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