Tuesday, March 28, 2017

When Faith Stays~

We stand,
my precious friend and I,
sand underneath us,
howling wind around us,
and the Atlantic Ocean in front of us.

With the temperature hovering in the 20's,
it's not beach weather,
and yet.
on this day,
it seems the perfect place to be.

Because you see,
five months before,
we had stood,
my two precious sisters and I,
on the balcony of our hotel room,
sand underneath us,
howling wind around us,
and the Pacific Ocean in front of us.

As I stood at Cannon Beach, Oregon,
only months after losing my husband,
I surrendered to the Lord's leading.
I chose to let go of my job and trust my Heavenly Father.
(You can read about that HERE and HERE.)

Now,
five short months later,
God had brought me to the other side of the United States.
"From sea to shining sea," my friend had said.

Standing on Rehoboth Beach, Delaware,
I stood in awe of all my God had done
in me,
for me,
through me,
in spite of me.

I thought of what would have happened
if I would have said "no",
if I would have chosen to please man and not God,
if I would have picked security over surrender,
if I would have succumbed to fear instead faith.

"I admire your faith, Stac," my friend says,
as we weather this cold, wintery moment together.

And, instantly,
I begin to explain
that what has found me
standing on this beach,
after having first spent the weekend
standing up behind a pulpit in Wilmington,
speaking of God's faithfulness,
(the very reason I am in Delaware in the first place)
is only and completely God's grace.

"Oh, Amy, how I wish I could say
the dearest desire of my heart 
had been to grow in my faith with God.  
How I wish I could say
I fasted and prayed for 40 days 
pleading with God to give me the kind of faith that lets go.

But, I can't.

Honestly,
I just found myself thrown into a situation 
I didn't ask for,
I didn't see coming,
I didn't want anything to do with.
I lost my husband to a heart attack.
I lost my job because I lost my husband.
I didn't do anything.

God did everything."

And, it's true.

When the rug of all that was my life
was ripped out from underneath me,
God was there.

When I didn't know what, didn't know how,
didn't know why, when or where,
God was there.

When I didn't feel as though I had a faith to stand on,
God stirred up the measure of faith I had been given
and it sprouted up in ways I could never have imagined.

Grace caught me.
Grace held me.
Grace carried me,
until,
tear after tear,
prayer after prayer,
day after day after day,
faith began to grow from the soil of sorrow, heartbreak, and brokenness.

The me who stood on the edge of the Pacific Ocean
was not the same me
who was now standing on the edge of the Atlantic.

The journey from sea to shining sea,
the five months in between,
the days from letting go to being overwhelmingly held -
all a true testimony to God's faithfulness.

It's why I can keep saying "yes".
It's why I can keep letting go.
It's why I can keep standing up and telling of His goodness.
It's why I can keep "being still" when I
don't know what,
don't know how,
don't know why, when, or where.

And I've learned,
sometimes,
in the fragile moments of life,
faith isn't so much about what you do;
it's about what you don't do.

You don't give up.
You don't give in.
You don't run away.
You don't throw in the towel.

You stay.

And,
when you do,
faith not only stays with you,
it gently takes you by the hand,
and carries you through.









Would you like Heartprints of God delivered to your email inbox each day?
 Simply enter your email address below.
 If you don't receive a verification email, please check your spam folder.
Sometimes, it is sent there in error.


Delivered by FeedBurner

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for leaving a "heartprint" of your own.