Friday, October 28, 2016

It's All in the Timing~

Hurry up! Go! Hurry up! Go!

Looking back over the span of my life,
I can't think of a time when I didn't feel the pressure to hurry up and go,
(except for three weeks, in three separate years,
when my sisters and I were on our yearly sister vacation.)

From my earliest childhood memory
of my mom waking me up for school,
the story of my life (and most likely yours, too!)
has been hurry up and go.

As my mom placed breakfast before me, -
the minutes until the bus for school would arrive
ticking away faster than the speed of light -,
she would look at me with frustration on her face and say,
"Don't just sit there, do something. Hurry up! Go!"

From hurrying to catch the bus,
to hurrying to finish homework assignments,
to hurrying to graduate high school,
to hurrying to get through college,
to hurrying to find a job,
to hurrying to find a husband,
to hurrying to make a living,
to hurrying to get through life,
my life has been set on "hurry up and go".

And here,
now,
in this season between seasons,
I feel the pressure to hurry up and go more than ever.

Having said "adios" to my last job four weeks ago,
and having yet to say "hello" to a new one,
I hear the words of my mom all over again,
"Don't just sit there, do something. Hurry up! Go!"

With days on the calendar ticking by
faster than the speed of light,
and knowing full well everything that the world demands of me -
I feel the pressure to
be about the business of being about my business.

Only, I have no idea what exactly my business is . . .

Should I look for a new job here, or somewhere else?

Is God calling me to stay here in my home, or move?

If I move, what am I going to do with all of my husband's belongings?

Am I ready to part with his things, with our home, with our life here?

If I choose to stay here do I really want to be here without him?

If I decide to sell our house, how long will it take to sell?

What will I do if our home doesn't sell quickly
and I haven't found a new job here
because I'm waiting to get a new job there (wherever there is)?

On and on and on
the questions,
the searching for answers,
the trying to make plans when I don't have a plan,
all have me feeling
the all too familiar pressure
to hurry up and go.

On the outside, that is.

Oddly enough,
(or maybe not odd at all)
deep within,
down in the center of who I am,
flowing from my inner, spiritual man,
I feel the overwhelming conviction to "be still".

While the world is trying its best to
push me into action,
prod me into moving,
pressuring me into deciding,
I hear God's voice telling me
to think and pray,
to wait and see,
to hope and believe,
to trust and obey,
to hold off and hold on,
to "be still".

And, because these are two directly opposite forces,
I feel as though I am in the midst of an intense spiritual battle.

Add to this,
the fact that my husband isn't here to
counsel and pray with me,
and it only makes matters worse.

Hurry up! Go!

"Be still."

Hurry up! Go!

"Be still."

And, I remember the story my husband told me over and over and over again.

How,
when young and "chasing the American dream",
while living in Phoenix, Arizona,
he was walking along one of the canals in the city,
wondering if there was more to life than
working and paying bills and going to bed
only to get up the next day and spend it
working and paying bills and going to bed.

As he walked along,
the Holy Spirit suddenly came upon Him.
He always smiled as he told this part of the story,
adding that when God's Spirit touched him,
he felt a warm sensation from the top of his head
all the way through him to the bottom of his feet.

As he took his next step,
it was as though the eyes of his heart had been opened,
and for the first time,
he really saw life.

He saw birds flying above him.
He saw flowers lining the path before him.
He heard children playing nearby.
He felt the warmth of the sun and the breeze on his face.
He saw the beauty of life,
and he heard God tell him,
"This is life.  Appreciate it - appreciate everything about it."

Knowing God's presence was with him,
he continued walking until he came to a church in the heart of the city.
He went in,
sat down,
and pulled out a Bible from the hymn rack on the back of the pew in front of him.

As he opened the pages of God's Holy Word,
God led him to Matthew 6:25 - 34,
the first words he ever read from the Bible:

Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?


Therefore do no worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

And, I ponder all of this in my heart.

Time waits for no man,
this is true.

Bills will keep rolling in,
and I will need to find my new place in the world soon enough.
I can't sit idly by and do nothing,
and yet I know Godly wisdom is counseling me
not to rush into anything, either.

There is a time and a season for everything.

And in the meantime,
there is a God who is very aware of my needs,
very attuned to all that pertains to me
not only physically, but
mentally,
emotionally,
and spiritually, too.

While it seems time is ticking by and nothing is happening,
I have to trust
God is at work, -
that He is already in tomorrow,
going before me,
preparing the way.

For now,
I will be still.

I will do what He has asked me to do:
to think and pray,
to wait and see,
to hope and believe,
to trust and obey,
to hold off and hold on,
to "be still",
to seek first the kingdom of God,
knowing full well my God shall
supply all my needs,
provide all the answers,
open and close all the right doors,
guide, lead, and direct my path -
in His time,
in His way.

And when the time is right,
when God gives me the green light -
when He is the one
pushing,
prodding,
pressuring me to move -
then,
my only appropriate response will be
to listen and obey,
and to hurry up and go!









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1 comment:

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