Sunday, March 6, 2016

How Could I?

Really, a word is just a word until it moves into your life.

Until you experience a word,
it is simply consonants and vowels strategically placed in an order that conveys a meaning.

Webster's dictionary can convey all it wants,
but most words are left meaningless until
an experience in life
defines the meaning not with letters
but with
an emotional reaction.

Take the word "grieve", for instance.

Dictionary.com defines grieve like this:
to feel great sorrow

Words on a page
until,
in less than a minute,
a heartattack
leaves you separated from the love of your life.

Words on a page,
until,
in less than a minute,
a phone call tells of the tragic news.

Words on a page
until,
in less than a minute
a doctor's report places an "expiration date" on your life.

"It's ok, Stacy. Give yourself permission to grieve," a well-meaning friend tells me.

"Your ongoing tears are the way your body needs to grieve," another friend tells me.

"You will grieve for a little while, but not forever," a sister in Christ tells me.

"You have to grieve. If you don't, you won't heal, Stacy," another friend tells me.

And, I think about this word that has suddenly become synonymous with me: grieve.
How I don't like it,
how it doesn't seem to fit,
how it and I are not compatible at all.

How, if I could, I would run away from it as fast as I could and as far as I could.

And yet,
like it or not,
how it is now embedded within me.

And how,
I would not even wish this word,
this emotional reaction,
this "grieve"
on my worst enemy.

Then, my eyes stumble upon these words in Ephesians 4:30:

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (NKJV)

Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don't take such a gift for granted.
(MSG)

Words on a page,
until,
in less than a minute
a sin causes you to become separated from your God.

For it is separation that causes us to grieve.

And, I think of the way,
uninvited,
the need to grieve came barging into my life.

And, I think, too,
of the way,
by my own choosing,
I have allowed
my sinful actions or reactions,
to barge into the heart of my God
and grieve His precious Spirit.

And,
I realize more than ever
the high cost of sin,
and all that is wrapped up in the word "grieve",
and how I never ever, ever want to make
the precious Holy Spirit experience this word.

When "grieve" entered my life,
I didn't have a choice.
I do,
however,
have a choice as to whether
"grieve" will be a result of my life.

To make the most precious part of my life,
the Holy Spirit,
grieve -
now,
knowing full well what the word grieve means-
how could I?

How could you?









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