Sunday, March 15, 2015

When Your Heart Breaks~

It's happened to me before, but this time it hurt.  It really hurt.

Maybe it's happened to you, too.

As I was combing my hair, brushing my teeth, applying mascara and preparing for my day, I was also singing along with the songs playing on my favorite Christian radio station.  For me, singing along is a natural part of my morning routine.

Since I know most of the songs by heart, the words roll off my tongue as easily as toothpaste glides onto my toothbrush.  Admittedly, sometimes, neither are given much thought.

But, there was that one line.

As soon as I sang the words, I heard them echoing back, reverberating off  the callouses of my heart.

Father, break my heart for what breaks yours.*

Minutes later, I head out the door and into the world. Soon, I am lost in the busyness of my day.  Projects, deadlines, and to-do lists keep my mind occupied. 

Until, later that afternoon.

Once again,  I find myself mindlessly singing along to the radio, and once again, the Lord taps me on the shoulder of my heart with that one line.

Father, break my heart for what breaks yours.

Work done for the day, I close the door to my office and head to the supermarket to pick up a few items for dinner.

And that's when it happens.

It's as though the Lord has removed the blinders from my eyes and for the first time,
I see people. 

Not the clothes they are wearing,
or the items in their shopping cart,
or the way they are between me and the item I am trying to reach on the shelf behind them,

and him,
and them.

I see a mother who is trying to keep her eye on five small children; eyes that are framed with black circles and lines of worry and fatigue.

I see a teenager hiding the insecurity of his heart behind long strands of hair; a curtain over his eyes, covering the windows to his soul.

I see an elderly lady struggling to keep her footing; the foundation of her youth, deteriorating with the passing of time, is leaving her unsteady, unsure and uncomfortably insecure.

I see a young, professional-looking couple strolling side by side, smiling and nodding in gestures that imply "yes, some of that" or "no, not today"; their awkward silence announcing to all that "I love you" often goes unsaid, too.

I see a small young boy following  behind his father as they turn left down the aisle that leads to the liquor department;  his fearful eyes can already see where this fateful turn will lead once they are home, behind closed doors.

And, right there - 

in the middle of the aisle,
in the middle of these people,
in the middle of my selfish, self-absorbed heart,

 I hear that one line.

Father, break my heart for what breaks yours.

And, my heart breaks.

{Photo Credit}
My Heavenly Father has been faithful to answer the prayer I have sang to Him through out my day. 

And, this time......

                     this time,

it hurts. 

* Matthew West, My Own Little World

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