I
will never forget the conversation I had with an elderly lady several
years ago.
Her answer caught me off guard - so off guard, in fact, that before my
mind had time to pray about a response, my mouth blurted out, "You
don't? Why not?" As we sat back down, she told me her story.
"It wasn't that he was
wonderful at being a husband, because he certainly was not. But, he was
mine. You understand, don't you, dear? He was mean, uncaring, selfish,
but he was mine. All these years, I have prayed. And, all these years
my prayers have gone unheard by God, and unanswered. I used to believe
in prayer, but not any more. Not now. It's obvious God doesn't care
about me."
"I never thought of it like that. Why haven't I
ever thought of it like that? All these years I've been so angry at God
for not listening, for not answering, for not caring. Maybe God was
hearing me, after all. Maybe, just maybe, he was watching out for me,
in spite of me. Thank you." And with that, she darted out of the room.
I'll never forget our conversation.
I'll never forget her tears. I'll never forget the look in her eye when
she saw God's heart in a new light - the light of His love for her, in
spite of her anger, in spite of her bitterness, in spite of her pleas.
Disguised in what
appears to be silence is a love that we can't even begin to comprehend. Hidden in "no" is often a merciful, tender, "I want so much better for
you".
We were seated next to one another at a conference on prayer. After the last session, as everyone was packing up their Bibles and leaving the room, she leaned over and asked, "Do you believe in prayer?"
"Yes. I do," I replied.
"I don't," she stated matter-of-factly.
Her answer caught me off guard - so off guard, in fact, that before my
mind had time to pray about a response, my mouth blurted out, "You
don't? Why not?" As we sat back down, she told me her story.
The love of her life, her husband of 30+ years, had found another love.
He made no excuses, just an honest, "I don't love you anymore" followed
by divorce papers and an empty side of the closet where his clothes
once hung. For years, (40+ years I discovered), she had prayed night and
day for God to bring her husband back home.
"It wasn't that he was
wonderful at being a husband, because he certainly was not. But, he was
mine. You understand, don't you, dear? He was mean, uncaring, selfish,
but he was mine. All these years, I have prayed. And, all these years
my prayers have gone unheard by God, and unanswered. I used to believe
in prayer, but not any more. Not now. It's obvious God doesn't care
about me."
"From what you've told me, this man caused you
heartache and grief even before he left you. Why would you want him back
in your life? I'm sure the way he treated you must have hurt God's
heart. Have you ever stopped to think that God loves you SO MUCH he
chose not to subject you to that abuse any longer? Maybe what you think
is God saying "no" is actually God saying "I want so much better for
you."
Her eyes filled with tears and for a moment she turned
away from me. Then, she reached out, took hold of my arm and began
sobbing uncontrollably.
"I never thought of it like that. Why haven't I
ever thought of it like that? All these years I've been so angry at God
for not listening, for not answering, for not caring. Maybe God was
hearing me, after all. Maybe, just maybe, he was watching out for me,
in spite of me. Thank you." And with that, she darted out of the room.
40+ years this women had allowed a broken relationship to hold her
prisoner.
40+ years this woman had allowed bitterness and anger to rob her of her relationship with God.
I'll never forget our conversation.
I'll never forget her tears. I'll never forget the look in her eye when
she saw God's heart in a new light - the light of His love for her, in
spite of her anger, in spite of her bitterness, in spite of her pleas.
Our God loves us like no one ever has or ever will.
When we don't understand His ways, when we don't get our way, when we pray and pray and pray and feel as though God doesn't care, HE DOES. All the time, more than we can ever know or ever imagine, He does.
Disguised in what
appears to be silence is a love that we can't even begin to comprehend. Hidden in "no" is often a merciful, tender, "I want so much better for
you".
Does God hear our prayers? Every single one.
Does God answer our prayers? Every single time.
Do I believe in prayer? Yes, I do.~♥
oh my God!!! you have just described my life. you have just described me to a T. I am 38 years old and I have prayed so so much and have always thought that God did not care.
ReplyDeleteI think you just saved my life.
What a beautiful encounter...God put you there for that purpose today. I've been reading a book on prayer recently, and, while I don't agree with all of the theology, it does remind me that God works in HIS time, not ours. And sometimes, it takes 40 years for a prayer to be answered because God is creating something bigger and better than we can imagine. I think God was probably working in her life those 40 years, bringing her to that moment where He spoke through you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Wow. Wow. Wow!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful story. I am in a situation that I have only seen as negative and have been trying to see God's side of things, I am sure he has a slightly better view than I do! Ha! Thanks for this!
ReplyDelete